Restless

It seems to me that no one is very happy with their job. Maybe it's mainly desk jobs. I just feel like at the beginning it feels new and exciting and then after a little while it just becomes same old same old, I don't feel like coming in, it's boring, blah blah blah. Maybe it's just young people. I'm not really sure. I just hope that it doesn't happen to me. I'm starting to get a little bored with my job but trying not to let it catch up with me. If I have a positive attitude about it then it gets better. Like if I'm actually motivated then I'm fine. I know it's only temporary (six months) but what am I going to do when I have a real big girl job? I just pray that I can do something that I really love. Because if I don't like going into work everyday then what's the point? Life is just strange sometimes. I don't really know if any of this makes sense but I just need to find things that make me excited. Like reading or finding time to go to the gym regularly or planning some trips...or thinking about law school and exciting future ideas. I can't lead a boring life. I need change and excitement and something to constantly work towards. I'll just see how things go.

Adjusting

Adjusting to my life back in Boston has been somewhat stressful to say the least. I was hit really hard with emotions when my Mom left. It was just because the weekend had been so amazing and we got along so well that it was difficult to accept she was driving home. Then I've been up the air with some more personal things and to top it off waiting for a random roommate to show up at my door. Not to mention I just started a full time job which doesn't feel like an internship but instead a legit big girl job.

Whew.

Well regardless. I'm okay now. I'm still nervous about someone moving in just because I have everything the way I like it, nervous about how they'll be, wanting to get enough sleep for work, etc. But I've realized that as long as I have a roof over my head, a safe healthy family that loves me, and good friends here, that I have everything I need. I've had to adjust to so many situations before that I can do it again.
Going to Cheesecake Factory tonight for Matt's birthday. I've been doing really well eating healthy so I see a reward coming my way with fried mac n cheese and beer. Nom.

Still going to be a bit jumpy around my room for a while though...

Although I should save the majority of my money in a perfect world here is what I would buy.

Things I Would like to Purchase With My Co-op Money:

- Ipad

- Iphone

- Subscription to the Economist

- Small digital camera to go with the monster one

- Brown boots with chunky heel

- Brand new makeup from Sephora

- Big Bang Theory seasons

- To buy Ryan a really nice watch

- Dark blue skinny pair of ripped jeans

- New pillows for my bed

- New mattress for my house

There are definitely tons of other things I've been wanting but can't remember at this moment. However, I just need to continue to stick to my strict budget during co-op season and maybe I'll come out of it with a couple of these items. Savings and traveling needs to be a bigger priority in the end.

This day has taught me not to waste any more time in my life sweating the small stuff. There are things worth worrying about and others need to be left up to faith. Not to be cryptic but way too personal to be put on a public blog I made two days ago.

Let's focus on something fresh and motivating.

Goals for co-op season!

Update. I have a co-op at Tech Networks of Boston from January to early July. It is a sustainability and marketing position and it's essentially a full time internship to gain experience at a company and make some money while still in school. Aka no class, pretty much real job for six months. So this means I should have goals since I'll have oodles of time at night at my disposal to de-stressify and organize.

1. Sundays are an organizing day. Creating meal plan and outfits for the week. That way I don't have to stress during the week on what to eat or wear. Leaving more time for reading, friends, good shows, and bars.

2. Reading 50 books in 2012. I will have more than 10 minutes before bed now to read and can totally get through this many in a year. Focusing on lighter reading material since it seems to be better at lowering my stress level.

3. Making sure that at least 1 yoga and 1 spin class are integrated into my schedule a week along with dance. I need to make sure I don't get burned out but exercise is what I need right now. If making it to these two works for a week or two then I'll slowly add more.

4. Creating a bar map with Jordan and Lindsay. Definitely a priority to see more of Boston.

5. Using spare time for letter writing and knitting.

6. SLEEP! Getting 8 1/2 or more hours a night is imperative for me. It makes my mood 10x better and I'll be more productive at work.

So my main goal is health for 2012. Some things you can't control but I can control diet, exercise, sleep, and vitamin regiments. And I plan to. Just because things get overwhelming does not give you the excuse to allow your life to get out of control. My body deserves to be number 1 priority.

So sleep, eating, hobbies, reading, friends, and exercise are the main goals for the new year! Oh and traveling of course :)

I have all the faith in God that He will know how to work everything out in my life. No matter what I encounter if He is on my side then I can deal with it.

So here's the new blog. Lauren is mainly responsible for my switch to blogspot. I figured that my blogging life is mostly worthless without her so when she ditched livejournal so did I. I suppose I'll be able to meet more people and find new blogs this way. And of course especially with starting a new job in a week I'll need lots of internet procrastination options. Hopefully this job will be sufficiently interesting and busy so I won't need to worry about it too much but let's face it. Even the actors in movies like Friends With Benefits and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days with amazing advertising and media jobs like to go on facebook and twitter. It's the way of the new world.

So as usual I'm not a huge fan of new years. I find it to be nothing more than my mentality that despises change and new beginnings. My entire life revolves around change and new beginnings. Going to school at Northeastern is a whirl win in itself. Not the whole living in Boston part but the whole oh now you have a new roommate, now you're starting a brand new job for six months, now you're located in a foreign country on your own for a while, etc. I start a new change in my life every 3 to 6 months. I always get great experiences but sometimes enough is enough. Not to mention the changes my life has gone through in the past three years or so. My entire family dynamic has changed. My mom got remarried, my stepmom went crazy, my aunt went crazy, my grandmother died, my favorite cat died, and my favorite aunt and uncle got a divorce.

I get it. Life is always changing. And I count my blessings on a daily basis. But getting together to act like partying baboons to watch another year slip away seems superfluous. Maybe when my life gets a little more constant and I can stop getting curve balls thrown my way for a while (wishful thinking) I'll be able to enjoy the new year more. But things I liked about 2011...going to Europe for the first time, seeing 8 different countries, working at Parliament, spending time with my lovers over the summer including Paola, going to Arizona to visit Marina and finally making it to San Diego, turning 21 and loving it, maturing, learning, growing, seeing the final Harry Potter movie, getting a co-op that I hopefully will love and adore, getting straight A's for the Fall semester, learning how to eat healthier and finding motivation within myself, and just spending time with the people I love.

I'm sad to see it go because I've done so much. To me a new year isn't a new slate. It's just another day in your life. If you want to start something new today is the day. And not because it's New Years! Because it's today. And I suppose I'm also a little bitter this year because once again going through scary changes and Ryan and I were both ill last night. So although I'm happy to have spent it with the one that I love. Not so happy with the circumstances.